先声明：本帖为转帖，小狼觉得特搞笑，因此转过来，让大家一起分享快乐。
FML即 F**k my life的缩写，直译的话就是“艹，我的生活烂透了……”
在你感到不舒心的时候去这里，你会顿时发现生活原来没有最倒霉，只有更倒霉。
地址：fmylife.com
好了、言规正传，好戏马上上演。


1、Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML

今天，我在邮箱里收到了我的护照。他们把我的生日搞错了。然后我找到了我一起送去申请护照的出生证明。结果我发现我的父母16年来一直在错误的一天给我过生日。FML

评论：（持续16年的稀里糊涂杯具，可怜的孩子）

2、Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML

今天，我在上课的时候睡觉。我的JJ石更了，而且我穿的是很宽松的裤子。我的老师走了过来一把抓住了我的JJ——她以为那是我手机。FML

评论：（我以前高中时候上课玩JJ，怎么没有遇到老师来摸摸呢）

3、Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

今天，我听见了我的姐姐在她的房间里面ZW。为了逃出去，我带着狗出去遛了遛。我回来的时候正巧碰见她出来，手里拿的东西是——我的电动牙刷。FML

评论：（于是我间接的给我的姐姐KJ了）

4、 Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined to a wheelchair. FML

今天，一个我认识了很久的很性感的女人跟我说，如果我能站着和她做，她就和我做。我残疾坐轮椅。FML

评论：（惊声尖笑4里面有类似场景吧）

5、Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

今天，我在和我的男朋友OOXX。当他要丢了的时候，他突然声嘶力竭地大喊“太棒了Brittany！！”我的名字不是Brittany.Brittany是他的妹妹。FML

评论：（这个是家庭小说的开头么？）

6、Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to 无效 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

今天，我老板叫我去他的办公室，要给我看一个可能成为我们的商业伙伴的公司的网站。当他在谷歌里面打“Virginia”这个词的时候，网站把他的搜索自动补完成了他最近才搜索过的词条——“小处男的菊花”。我明天就要和他一起出差。我是个年轻男人。FML

评论：（小伙子没关系，出差回来老板让你当他秘书）

7、 Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My hunband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

今天，我发现我怀孕了。我已经和老公试了很长时间，所以我等不及要把这个好消息告诉他。当我推开他的办公室的门准备给他一个惊喜时，我看到他和一个男的在亲热。FML
评论：（其实那是男男之间真诚，热烈，持久的友情的表示，太大惊小怪了）

8、Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

今天，我的女儿问我我是什么时候破处的。当我告诉她是22岁时，她立马大喊道：“我赢喽！！”她今年才13。FML
评论：（切，我11岁就把处男之身交给了左手）

9、Today, my hunband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

今天，我结婚9年的老公告诉我说他是搞基的。他甚至还暗示我说，他和我在一起的时候能硬起来，是因为我长得比较爷们。FML
评论：（⊙﹏⊙b汗，姐姐你是春哥门下的吧）

10、Today I noticed that my daughter was making funny noises which oddly resembled sex sounds my wife makes. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I'm pretending to be mommy from last night." I was on a business trip last night. FML

今天，我发现我女儿在模仿很奇怪的、听起来像我老婆在OOXX时发出的声音。当我问她你在干嘛的时候她说“我在学我妈咪昨晚的声音”。我昨晚出差。FML
评论：（于是爸爸愉快的指导女儿正确的叫床方法~~~）

maoasdf

很好奇第2条中的老师性别
其次
外国人好象很多基佬