笑一笑，学英文-3

英文幽默：男女有别(爆笑)

FUTURE 未来
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
女人直到找到丈夫前都在担心未来；男人直到找到妻子前从不担心未来。

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EATING OUT 在外面吃饭
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
　　买单的时候，阿麦，阿克、阿力和阿汤每人都甩出20块钱，虽然其实一共只吃了32块5。没人有更小的票子了，也没人愿意承认他们其实想把票子破开。女人买单时，每人掏出个计算器。

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MONEY 钱
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale. 　　
用得着的东西，要是值1块钱却卖2块，男人也会买；用不着的东西，要是值2块钱却只卖1块，女人也会买。

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BATHROOMS 浴室
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
男人浴室里五件宝：牙刷，刮胡膏，剃须刀，一块肥皂，一块毛巾。一般的女人浴室里平均有337样东西，其中的大多数，男人不知道那是干啥用的。

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ARGUMENTS 争论
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
任何争论都是由女人来说最后一句话。男人在此之后说的任何话……都是开始新的争吵。

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CATS 猫
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
　　女人喜欢猫。男人说他们也喜欢，但当女人看不到时，男人踢猫。

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SUCCESS 成功
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
　　成功的男人是能挣比他太太花得更多的钱的；成功的女人是能找得到这么个男人的。

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MARRIAGE 婚姻
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change! And she does.
　　女人嫁给一个男人，希望他能改变，可他不；男人娶了一个女人，希望她永远不变，可她变了。